


how rare and beautiful it is to even exist (the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes)

by bloodaccusedstones



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, catmilla, fluff as promised
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 19:56:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3146690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodaccusedstones/pseuds/bloodaccusedstones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moonlight adds a white light, making her alabaster skin whiter and you can see a light dusting of freckles on her shoulder. In the moonlight it reminds you of stars (of course). It reminds you of milky ways and galaxies and nebulas and constellations. She is space; a vast, unexplored wonder that holds so many secrets and is so beautiful, and you gaze upon her in awe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how rare and beautiful it is to even exist (the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes)

**Author's Note:**

> Hollstein fluff, as promised.

///

You wake up when you hear something hit the floor. You open your eyes slowly and your body is stiff; you don’t want anything to detect you. You see the covers in front of your body. They’re rumpled and tossed back a bit, which means Carmilla’s not in bed with you. You also knew that when you woke because she wasn’t tangled all over you. You hear her rummaging around in the fridge and you assume she’s getting blood so you close your eyes.

You hear feet padding against the floorboards and feel the bid dip towards the ground. She slides in next to you and doesn’t lay down. You feel the bed tip with her body; she’s moving around and messing with the headboard. You hear her exhale slowly and she stops moving.

You lay next to her, trying to fall asleep again by listening to her steady breathing. It’s not really working. You’re kind of upset because you know it’s the middle of the night and you have a lot of work to do tomorrow and need rest, but you’re not tired. You feel her press her cold toes against your calf. You hear her let out a breathy laugh when she feels your muscles twitch at the sudden change in temperature and she slouches against the headboard.

You stretch and yawn. You open your eyes a bit and see Carmilla sitting up in bed, back against the headboard, a cup of blood held between her legs, elegant fingers holding a book, reading it with the soft glow from the owl lamp (you wonder if she can read in the dark because she’s a cat). She hums and glances down at you and her smile is so small and sweet, you reach out and place your hand on her thigh to anchor yourself before you feel like you’re drowning in her tidal waves. You sit up, toss your hair behind you, and kisses her hungrily. She kisses you with just as much force. You grab her sides and she kisses you a little bit slower. You follow her lead and you end up kissing each other slowly, gently. She pulls back and plants a small kiss on your nose. 

"What was that for?" She whispers.

"I just wanted to kiss you." She hums and nudges your shoulder. You kiss her again, quickly this time, and lay back down. You place your hand back on her thigh and try to relax. She keeps reading the book while holding it with one hand while the other taps a beat against your splayed out fingers on her leg. You hum when she drags the pads of her fingers up your wrist. She puts her hand next to your head and starts running her hand through your hair.

“Go back to sleep, Liebling,” she whispers to you. You find your eyelids drooping as she plays with your hair, occasionally running her fingertips over your forehead. You squeeze her thigh and shift closer to her, gluing yourself to her side. She never stops the gentle caress, twirling a few strands with her fingers.

As you feel yourself drifting off, you hear Carmilla’s husky voice humming.

///

Your hand is grasped loosely in hers and your connected arms are swinging in between your bodies. You bump your shoulder into hers and she stumbles slightly, then rocks on her feet and swings back towards you, hitting your shoulder with some force. You squeak and she laughs lightly at you. You huff and pull at your light jacket. She leads you under a tree in the University’s park and she sits under it, pulling you down with her. You sit next to her, its canopy slowly falling away, shedding in the autumn light.

Carmilla puts the picnic basket between the two of you (you honestly can’t believe she agreed to a picnic) and pulls out champagne (of course), a few sandwiches, potato salad, and cookies (of course). You immediately open the tupperware containing the salad and start eating it right out of the plastic. Carmilla notices you eating the potato salad and shakes her head. She unwraps a PB&J sandwich and slowly munches on it while she leans back against the trunk. You’re happy here under the tree with Carmilla, having a small little lunch while resting your leg against hers.

You set down the half empty tupperware and just as you’re about to get a handful of cookies, something sticky touches your cheek. You squeal and look at Carmilla. She’s shaking because she’s laughing so hard and her finger has a little bit of peanut butter on it. She wiped that on your face, didn’t she?

“Carmilla! Ew! That’s disgusting!” You scream at her while you wipe off the peanut butter with a napkin. She’s cackling and she just wiped peanut butter on your cheek and it was gross so you grab a few of the fallen leaves laying around you and throw them at her. She flings her hand in front of her face to protect her. She chuckles when you cry triumphantly.

She looks up and gazes at some of the leaves trickling down from the branches. You watch her, taking in her curly hair that falls over her shoulders, cascading down her back. You smile softly at the little grin she’s wearing and you slowly reach towards her and gently run your finger over her temple. She turns towards you and her gaze is so soft and loving it takes your breath away. You drag your finger down her cheek and stop when your hand is on her neck.

“It’s so pretty,” she says, pointing up to the tree top, light rays spilling through the spaces where leaves have already fallen. You let out a quick laugh because it was such a simple statement from Carmilla, broody, philosophy obsessed, stargazing Carmilla, and look down while you smile. When you look back up to Carmilla, she’s gently smiling at you, eyes soft. You see the light rays highlight the brown strands in her hair and her cheekbones and her perfect little nose, and she’s is so beautiful even when she doesn’t try.

“Yeah,” you say while looking at her, “Beautiful.”

///

You’re laying on your back under the tree, curled into Carmilla and the light is warming you and you don’t want to move from away from Carmilla. You feel her playing with the tips of your hair and she pulls you closer into her side. You feel her abdominal muscles jump underneath your hand and you look up. Her head is raised and she’s in this halfway sit-up position and she’s staring at a leaf falling and her eyes are huge and oh no.

“Carmilla?”

“Huh?”

“You alright?” She nods but doesn’t blink. You slowly pull away from her and grab a leaf. You toss it in front of her face and she swats at it, pupils blow and looking very excited. When the leaf falls to the ground she paws at it. You giggle and toss another one and she reacts the same. A breeze whips through your hair and the grass blades, sweeping up the fallen leaves and Carmilla freaks. She hops up and morphs into a panther and jumps at the leaves, trying to catch them between her teeth.

Catmilla has been awakened. By leaves.

She’s reminds you of a dog as she scampers in front of you, chasing and rolling in leaves. You laugh and place your head in your palms while shaking your head.

Your girlfriend ditched you on a date in cat form for some leaves.

///

“Laura, stop laughing."

You’re laughing so hard, you’re in the fetal position on your bed, stomach cramping and tears leaking out of your eyes. Carmilla sighs and grabs some clothes and heads to the bathroom. You try to get yourself under control.

Carmilla doesn’t appreciate when you laugh at what she does as Catmilla. Obviously. When you had gotten back to the dorm, you tossed some string at her and she went wide eyed and stared at it, muscles tense and ready to pounce. You had teased her for hours before you ended up dying on your bed, Carmilla stomping off into the shower.

You hear the water turn on and you’re really tired (stupid class hours and homework) so you roll over on your side and feel yourself falling asleep. You don’t fight it.

///

You awake when you feel something touch your back. You know it’s Carmilla; you can smell your shampoo but her underlying scent of woodsmoke and vanilla, her legs are tangled with yours, her hands are underneath your shirt, resting on your stomach, and her chest is pressed against your shoulder blades. You roll over in her arms so you’re facing her.

Your nose brushes hers and she opens her eyes. You smile and she returns it but you know something's wrong.

“Carm? You know I love you, right?” She nods against your forehead. “That includes everything about you. Your scars and past and future and smile and weird little quirks and strength and weakness and Catmilla. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“You didn’t, Sundance. It’s just that you- I- it’s been so long since someone’s teased me,” she whispers. You feel saddened by that. You don’t know how to respond because what can you say to make things better and an “I’m sorry,” isn’t going to reverse her pain. You kiss her because that’s the most logical thing you can think of. She threads her hand in your hair and tugs you closer to her. You grab a fistful of her shirt and grip it hard because you are falling falling falling into her so deeply. She is the ocean and you are drowning in her, water filling your lungs as you inhale her greedily.

She pulls back and places her forehead on yours, noses brushing and breathes whispering across each other’s lips. She rubs her thumb along your cheekbone, dragging the pad of her thumb over the dark circles under your eyes. You place a kiss on her lips and she nuzzles your nose with hers, giving you an eskimo kiss. You open your eyes and hers are still closed and she’s smiling.

You see her bare shoulder peeking above the blankets. You must’ve moved her shirt when you grabbed it. The glow from the owl lamp highlights the sharp peak and bend of her shoulder while shadowing the softer parts, the dips and lines of her skin. The moonlight adds a white light, making her alabaster skin whiter and you can see a light dusting of freckles on her shoulder. In the moonlight it reminds you of stars (of course). It reminds you of milky ways and galaxies and nebulas and constellations. She is space; a vast, unexplored wonder that holds so many secrets and is so beautiful, and you gaze upon her in awe.

She is so beautiful, it makes your hands shake.

She nuzzles into your neck and you can’t help but wrap your arms around her back.

She is the ocean and your anchor. She drowns you and saves you. You hold on as tightly as you can.

///

You roll over on your side with a groan. You crack open your eyelids and the sun stings and you let out a cry.

“Why? Why why why why?” You chant while you slip out of bed. It’s around nine in the morning and Carmilla’s gone to class and you don’t today, so you got to the wardrobe to get some clothes to change into. You see something red out of the corner of your eye and you glance at it.

It’s a bouquet of roses. You never really pegged Carm as being the one to get you flowers (but you have underestimated her before). You smell them and sigh at Carmilla’s gesture. You’re admiring them when you notice a slip of paper that’s folded, resting between the flowers. You pick it up and open it.

In a familiar scrawl it reads, _I shall love you until the last one dies._  

You’re confused because they’re flowers, they’ll all die. Unless flowers can become undead but you don’t think that’s possible. You set the note down on the kitchen counter and look closely at the flowers. Then you notice it.

A single rose in the bouquet isn’t a real rose. It’s fake, therefore it cannot die. 

You can’t stop the grin that spreads across your face.

///

You make love to her when she get’s back from class.

///

“Well, Creampuff, I wasn’t expecting that. If I’d known that you were going to have sex with me because of flowers, I would’ve gotten them sooner.”

“Shut up, Carmilla. Don’t ruin the moment.”

“Fine, fine.”

///

“I shall love you for all eternity, Liebling.”

You take her hand that is resting on your stomach in your hand. You trace the wrinkles in her palms, feeling the cracks and crevices and callouses. Her hand is rough and yet, soft. Much like her. You kiss her palm and turn to look in her eyes. You brush your nose against hers and kiss her softly.

“I will love you until the last star stops twinkling.”

///

You do.

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to my girlfriend for the picnic scene. It was brilliant, babe.


End file.
